My Boy

I'ts amazing what a difference a couple days can make. Especially when you spend them with someone you love. I was going to go to Michfest, my brother was going to stay at my house while I was gone, it was all worked out. I was going to be leaving early Wednesday morning, around 4am to miss the Chicago traffic and be there around 10am, maybe 11am, if I hit really bad traffic. However fate had other plans. I couldn't get the car in to be seen about the little no starting problem and it was running a little rough. I stopped by my sisters just to say hi in the afternoon because I wanted to see the kids before I left and it had been almost a week. I was talking to my sister and brother in law about the car and my brother in law wisely said, "Maybe you shouldn't drive it that far if you are having problems." I was all, nah, it's ok, it will be fine. At that point my nephew, who I love more than anything in this world says to me, "Why don't you stay home and I can come hang out at your house with you for a few days?"

My nephew, who I'll just call The Boy, is 13 and probably the closest thing I will ever have ot having my own child. We are tight, every since he was born I have been his favorite person in the world, not even exaggerating on that. If you look at our family photos, you would be very hard pressed to find any of him without me since he was brought home until the age of 6. He's 13 now, a little skater and one of the coolest kids I know. My sister tells me all the time he is almost exactly like me. We have the same attitude, mannerisms, likes, dislikes, it's weird but nonetheless you can tell The Boy and I are close. I'm on his top 4 on Myspace for Bob's Sake! How many other 13 year olds have their freaking Aunt in their top 8, let alone in the top 4?? So of course that was the final straw that finally made me give in on the Michfest trip. And I couldn't be happier I made that choice. Being around The Boy brings out the very best in me and reminds me why the world is such a great place. It reminds me that no matter if this girl or that girl doesn't want me or hurt me, no matter what, I do have people that truly love me and care about me, that think the world of me, like he does.

I remember when he was around 7 we were driving one night. I had just gotten my convertible so we dropped the top and just cruised around because it was such a nice night out. As we were driving, he was looking up at the stars and looked over at me and said, "Where do you think all the stars came from?"

"I'm not sure, some people think God made them, others think they all came from a tiny little piece of matter that exploded, but I really don't know." He sat there in silence for a few minutes, I glanced over and could tell he was thinking really hard.

Finally, after a few more minutes, he looks over at me with a very serious expresssion on his face, "If it was God then where did he come from?"

"Um, honestly, buddy, I have no clue...God is suppose to just be, like he just is." I had no idea what to say to this little boy who had the tendency to take whatever I said as the absolute truth and make it his own truth. Of course I had my own skeptical views on the whole God creating the universe thing, but I didn't want to push them onto The Boy. He had the right to make up his own mind when matters of faith and God were concerned.

"That doesn't make sense, everything comes from somewhere." My very logical nephew pointed out. "So God had to come from somewhere."

"I don't know, Bud. I guess there are some things we just don't know yet or aren't suppose to know, but maybe one day we'll find out." I was a bit blown away that my 7 year old nephew was having such serious thoughts.

"Yeah, when I get older I'll find out for you." My heart melted at the sincerity in his voice. But I knew that without a doubt, if he ever did figure out that answer I would be the first person he told.

That's just the type of relationship The Boy and I have. He can (and does) have a bad temper and can shoot off his mouth without thinking but he never does it around me. He has never once yelled at me or gotten pissed at me, but I have seen him get that way with other people. It really is a little creepy how much alike we are, I was exactly the same way at his age. Another thing we both share is ADD, so I think we understand each other better than anyone else in our family does. I get so pissed when I hear my brother in law say he's lazy or something like that. He's not lazy, it's just really hard for him to focus, unless he's hyper focused, plus he's 13. What kid at that age doesn't forget to do his chores and stuff?

Spending yesterday and today with him has reminded me that I have come far. It reminded me why I wasn't smoking, why I've joined the gym and am now forcing my ass up at 6am 3 days a week to go work out before work. He reminds that I am a good person. Hanging out with him is better than any night at any club. I would rather spend all night playing Mortal Kombat with him than go camping with thousands of lesbians for a few days. The reason is as he gets older he might not have the time to spend with his Aunt like he does now. As he gets older he's going to have more responsibilities and before I know it he'll be off at college or would rather go out with his friends than spend the night here. He's only young once and I don't want to miss a moment of it. Especially a moment he wants to share with me.