Things that go Boom in the Day

I was enjoying a perfectly good dream this morning that for some reason involved Pam Anderson or Mrs. Kid Rock showing me just how flexible she was, which in itself is odd because I can't think of one time in my life that I lusted after her let alone wondered how flexible she was but I digress. Pam was just about to re-enact her first honeymoon tape with me when I was awaken with a huge BOOOOOM noise outside. My bed shook, or maybe it was me shaking, I'm not sure. It sounded like it had come right from outside my bedroom window. I thought at first it was a bomb, in my still sleep haze I thought, "Why would terrorists bomb Wisconsin?"

I looked out my bedroom window but couldn't see anything burning or amiss. I think I might have startled a squirrel that was doing whatever the hell squirrels do on the ground when they aren't in trees because he looked at me like I had caught him in some guilty act (he really did have a guilty look on his little squirrelly face). He quickly darted away and probably up one of the trees in the backyard to do whatever it is squirrels do in trees.

I got out of bed and to show you how living in my "mobile home community" has changed me, I didn't think twice about stepping out onto my deck in my PJ bottoms and my wifebeater. Did I mention it was a little after noon at this point? In another time, place, situation my house could have been on fire and I still would have to get dressed and at least put one product in my hair before stepping outside.

By this time a growing crowd of neighbors had assembled outside as well. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or a little scared to see I wasn't the only one in PJs still, hell one neighbor came outside in just his boxers and a wifebeater. I never realized how many neighbors I had that seem to be home at just after noon on a Tuesday. Am I really in the minority here by having an actual job? Or did everyone decide to take the same week of vacation as me? After noticing the amount of neighbors and what they were wearing, I finally noticed the bit of smoking coming from behind the trailer across the street from me. In the distance I heard the faint sound of sirens getting closer.

Leaning over my deck railing I called over to Babymaker, "Hey, what happened?"

"Someone blew up Perpetual Fixer upper Guy's shed." he replied while holding one of his dozens of kids while two more ran around him.

"Damn, is he ok?" Ok I guess I should explain a bit about Perpetual Fixer Upper Guy. He moved into our little community about 3 months ago across the street from me and every since he has moved in he's been "fixing" up his trailer. Though to be honest he drinks and parties all night, loudly, more than I have seen him do actual work on the place. Though he does have tools all over and wood and various bits of fixer upper kinda stuff laying around his place.

"Yeah, it looks like something caught on fire in the shed and he had a gas can in there that went up." One of Babymakers kids was trying to get away from him. He oh so casually jut grabbed the child by the back of the neck, not missing a beat in his explaination of the loud BOOM noise.

"Damn, that's crazy." At that point the fire truck and police cars had pulled up. I had to hand it to Perpetual Fixer Upper Guy, he had put most of it out on his with his water hose by the time they got there.

An even bigger crowd had assembled on the sidewalk in front of my house and around with the arrival of the fire trucks. I decided it was time to go in and at least put on a T-Shirt and shorts. I didn't want all my neighbors to think I just hung out in my PJs all day like they did. My mom had pounded it into my head that it always mattered what the neighbors thought, even trailer trash ones like mine.