Tonight while on the phone with Lucky she called me an emotional slacker. What the hell is an emotional slacker? She clarified for me that an emotional slacker is one who doesn't put themselves out there for anything that doesn't provide instant gratification, but in an emotional sense. Yeah, I was still a little confused too. To provide me with a more clear view on what the hell she was going on about she tried to explain a bit more, I told her to talk to me like I was 5. I have always considered myself intelligent but sometimes she is on such a higher plane than me that I have a hard time grasping what it is she really means, or maybe she has just perfected the fine art of femme speak.
She went on to explain that I come off as the type that if there isn't an emotional instant gratification aspect in an interaction with someone I won't put any emotional energy into that person at all, I expect them to do all the work. Um, Huh? Ok talk to me like I'm 3. If I don't get what I want in my mind right away from someone I shut off on them emotionally. I don't allow time for things to develop. Not everyone goes with their instincts like I do, not every one recognizes exactly what they want in another person within the first 10 minutes. Oh, ok. I get that and I can see that to a certain point, this girl is smart. Though she is getting her PhD in Psychology. I don't see anything wrong with being like that personally. After a bit more of talking I felt like I was suppose to send her a check for the two hours she had just spent psychoanalizing me. Just joking, kinda. I could kind of see her point in the end. So in the interest of self discovery and all that stuff here are my 7 bad habits of being an emotional slacker.
1. I assume everyone knows exactly what they want in another person because I know when I see it
2. If I don't get the attention I demand right when I demand it I feel like the other person must not care
3. I over analyze EVERYTHING
4. I make snap judgements about other people and regardless if they prove to be different it's hard to change my mind about them once it's been made, for good or bad
5. I think I'm always right
6. I want what I can't have and don't want what I get easily
7. The moment I even think I have been even slightly rejected I become emotionally unavailable
Damn those are bad habits and granted I'm not completely inflexible I do tend to act this way with the majority of people. But all rules have exceptions and I have mine as well. There are a few people I haven't been like this with, and I have realized that those are the people that hurt me the worst. And I wonder why I can't substain a decent relationship? Or at least a healthy one?
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