In The Beginning

I moved into my trailer 3 years ago. I moved in with the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Or rather I felt like I was going to be stuck with for the rest of my life. Don't get my wrong I loved her but even before we started our little upward mobility from the ranks of renters to homeowners, (be it mobile home owners, we were home owners none the less), I was having serious doubts about the longevity of our relationship. I did love her to be sure but it had become the type of complacent love that comes with just giving in rather than fighting it. I had also just stopped fighting with her totally over every little thing. It was easier to just say, ok, whatever and move on because she would always throw in my face how she had moved over 2000 miles from her family to be with me and I couldn't very well argue with that logic. Well I could, I would point out it was her choice and then she would get pensive for a bit and then within the hour start telling me how I was everything she had and how without me she had nothing. That put major pressure on me to say the least. I mean I didn't want to be the end all and be all in her life. She didn't work, I supported us, she didn't have friends because she didn't feel like being social, she didn't like my friends coming over because they would point out what a fucking hermit I had become and give her pointed looks. I was feeling like I was trapped, I did love her but it all became to much, I couldn't go out without a fight, I couldn't go to my sisters to hang out with the kids without a fight, I couldn't DJ without a fight, I couldn't do anything unless it involved her and then it had to be something not too social and it couldn't take her away from our apartment for too long.

Pretty Soon there came a time where as try as I might, I couldn't support us both. I worked my ass off and it still wasn't enough. I had to lay down the law, little did I know that I was setting into motion events that would ultimately change both our lives forever. Some for the good, some for the bad but change was about to come crashing into our lives with the force of an F4 tornado.

At first the changes where subtle, my normally antisocial girlfriend was meeting people and making friends at the mall where she had gotten a job. But then I noticed a few odd things, my girlfriend who was normally all over me and all about me was paying me less and less attention. It took me a while to notice because I was enjoying my new found freedom, thinking that she had realized that a social life was needed for harmony in the home. For the first time in almost 2 years I was able to go out with my friends without a fight. I was able to have my friends over without her acting all upset the whole time. But other aspects of our life that we had never had any problems in started to rapidly decline. All of a sudden she was always too tired at night to do anything, even cuddle. Hmm, it didn't take spidey sense to figure out that something was amiss.

One day work was quite slow so they let some of us leave a few hours early. I thought it would a great time to surprise my girlfriend at work and take her out for dinner seeing as we hadn't been able to spend much quality time together. Well imagine my surprise when I went up to the kiosk she was working at to find that she hadn't worked there in a few days and then imagine my further surprise when it was revealed to me that the friend, Sherry, she said she was spending all her time with told me that her and my girl hardly ever hung out. And then just imagine a bit more my jaw dropping to the floor as she told me that my girl had told everyone we had broken up and was currently dating some guy at the mall.

Now us breaking up was news to me, granted things had changed a bit since she had started working. But still, she told me everyday as I was leaving for work she loved me and actually had just gotten mad at me the morning before for not waking her to give her a kiss good bye. And now I had this girl telling me that my girl was going around the mall telling everyone we had broken up months ago?!?!?!

Now I will gloss over all the gory details that followed, the confrontation, the denial, the tears, the cheating, the back and forth my girl put me through for the next few months. Long story short, I caught them together, she took off for a couple weeks, robbed our trailer while I was at work, then came back and apologized, then left again and moved out, then started cheating on him with me, only to have him find out so she moved back in with me, but by that time it was too late. I couldn't even look at her without feeling completely betrayed. So when she finally moved back to Seattle, taking her boyfriend with her, I was happy beyond belief. She might have taken most the dvd's, cd's, the new TV, PS2, new DVD player, a lot of my PS2 games, our puppy Rocco and for some strange and unknown reason my favorite hoodie. But she left behind the most random things that should have meant something to her, like her photo albums that she had brought with her from Seattle.

Anyways, she got a lot of the good stuff, even things that I had before i even met her and I got the trailer. Along with the trailer I also got a weird assortment of neighbors, crazy past due bills and a dishwasher that doesn't seem to work right all the time. So while it pretty much represents failed dreams and rough starts, it's home.