Drag Queen Bingo Inferno

The other night some friends and I decided we would try something new, different, fun. We were gonna go play Bingo at the gay bar. I come from a long line of Bingo enthusiast and was raised with an almost religious reverence towards the game. I remember being 6 at the campground and watching my mom and grandma play Bingo while us kids went swimming. Sometimes if I was feeling to sunburned to go swimming Grams would let me go to Bingo in the lodge with her. I was allowed to put little dried out corn kernel's on my very own card, it was all so very grown up to a 6 year old.

My Mom and Grams still go to Bingo together every Sunday afternoon, sometimes my Aunt goes and my older Sister tries to make it as often as possible. My Cousin and I use to go when we were really bored to the casino to play the midnight Bingo together, then we would hit the slots and blackjack tables afterwards. So Bingo is in my blood, it's a part of my families history. I'm sure when my ancestors where stuck on that cross Atlantic voyage to the New World, they had a full on Bingo game going on below deck.

When Dropout asked me if I wanted to go with her and her girl, CC I was all about it. A girl can only hang out around the house so much and play so many video games feeling depressed. I'm full on in the middle of a break up? Breather? Hiatus? Pause? With the girl I'm in love with, so my friends have taken it upon themselves to get me out of the house as much as possible. Something about sitting around waiting for a phone call or IM that might not come is unhealthy, so they say. They also say if they have to hear about how great she is and perfect for me they are gonna duct tape my mouth shut so I mean really what do they know?

I got dressed and waited for them to come pick me up because my car has been having little issues with starting lately. I have no clue what's wrong with it, sometimes it starts other times it takes like 100 tries to get it going. People tell me I should just get rid of it but I can't, it belonged to someone very close and dear to me who passed away last summer. Losing that car would be like losing him again, if that makes any sense, it does to me. Anywho, they came and picked me up and off to the gay bar we went.

The amount of queers, drag queens, fag hags and such that had turned out to play Bingo was quite impressive. The two Drag Queens - Mona Lot and Anita Little - where quite entertaining and the crowd was pretty enthusiastic for a week night. I had already gotten my ass whipped at Mortal Kombat earlier that night so I was determined to win at least one game of Bingo. My pride was on the line, besides, like I said it was in my blood. It's a little weird to be a the club when there wasn't a DJ. The only music was from the jukebox which had been turned down low so we could hear the calling out of the Bingo balls. It had a completely different vibe about it. It didn't' feel so seedy and the smell of desperation was missing from the air that night, along with the overtly heavy cigarette smoke. It did still have that stale smell about it but not the hazy smoke.

We got a table with some other friends up by the bar and grabbed our cards. I was quite oblivious to the fact that my friends had more than just playing Bingo in mind when they had asked me to come out with them that night. I was saying hello to Mando and her girl, Tipsy when they made a big show of introducing me to a friend of Tipsy's from work, who I'll just call Cute Girl From Work, or CG(FW). A very vague recollection was beginning to form in the back of my mind about them talking to me about her last weekend at the bonfire we had been at. I say vague because that whole weekend was a little hazy due to the fact I was partying with my brothers because one was leaving for Iraq on Monday, (I miss you JewBoy!).

Of course everyone sits down so that CG and I are next to each other. Suddenly, it dawns on me, holy shit, this is a complete set up! Those bastards used the lure of Bingo and Drag Queens to set me up with someone they approved of. I was a bit bent about that. Did they have no respect for the fact I was going through something already and I was determined to see how that played out. I had already met the woman I loved, granted it wasn't' going as I had hoped or at all currently but throwing another girl at me was not the answer, no matter how nice, cute or funny this girl was. I was polite of course and my general out in public witty, humorous, charming self. It wasn't CG's fault my friends could be twats.

A couple hours later we were all laughing, talking and still playing Bingo, everyone I was with had already had that golden opportunity to yell out BINGO, with the exception of me and CC. I just couldn't win that night, I swear. CG was talking to me and offered to go get me a drink, not wanting to give her the wrong idea I pulled out some money to pay for my own drink, but she pushed back at me and told me not to be silly. After she got back we were talking about the War and my brother who had just left, she had 2 friends that were over there. It's getting harder and harder to find people who aren't personally affected by this pointless blood for oil war. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure to hear me get all wound up about the war knows how completely into getting my point out and passionately against it I am. CG leaned towards me and told me how sexy I looked when I was all worked up. She casually put her hand on my knee, looking me straight in the eyes the whole time. I felt my face turn bright red, I completely forgot what I was saying. I was trying to find a way to politely tell her that I wasn't into her. Though I'm not sure how she got the idea I would have been what with me talking about how great this girl I knew was and how I was sure that the girl I was kinda with was the one. I had even pulled out that old cliche of nothing worth having is easy.

Luckily, I was spared with having to come up with anything to say because we heard a loud, "Fuck! my wig's on fire" It seems the Drag Queens had been doing a flaming shot and when Anita had bent down to blow it out her wig had caught on fire, I'm not surprised with all the hairspray she uses. Quick thinking Barback Boy used the little nozzle gun to spray some seltzer water on it and in the end Anita's wig had just been a little singed. After she pulled that little bit back and tucked it behind her ear, you could barely notice. We all had a good laugh and the momentary commotion had given me the chance to stand up to watch the excitement. I went over to CC and Dropout and asked the, if they were ready to leave. Dropout was like, oh we should stay a little more but I begged off saying I was realyl tired and I had to work the next day. They relented and after a quick round of hugs and good byes we were off.

When they dropped me off I went inside and went straight to my computer, hoping I had a message waiting from The One, but alas I was a triple loser that night. I guess even the great ones have an off ngiht sometimes and there was always tomorrow. Tomorrow I would eel better and things would look a bit brighter I told myself as I went to bed. If a Drag Queen can shrug off her wig catching on fire then I could shrug off one night of being a loser. She'll call me tomorrow. Tomorrow she'll realize she misses me. Tomorrow I'll kick my roomies ass at Mortal Kombat. Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes.