$2.00 Bottle of Water

It was a flimsy excuse, I know. I had the day off and Token had mentioned he needed a ride to meet up with a friend of his at this pool hall. A pool hall that just happened to be really close to where someone is living right now. Someone who claims to love me but never talks to me, ever anymore. Someone who I know is capable of being the person she was when we first started talking but for reasons unknown to me I have been completely shut out. The last time i heard from her directly she left me a message telling me happy birthday and that she loved me. Then, nothingness. It feels like an unfinished sentence or like the cable cut out in the middle of a really good movie. Just the way it's hanging there with nothing being said makes it hard to just face the facts. 1. She hasn't called me. 2. I called and left her a couple messages over the last few weeks. 3. She makes NO effort to actually talk to em, let alone see me. So why do I still have feelings for her? I've blown off people I couldn't stand nicer than this is feeling. It's like I'm waiting, I don't want to move on in case things change and she realizes she can't or doesn't want to live without me. It's all very strange, I've never allowed myself to be in this position before and I really hate it.

So what am I waiting and why am I waiting? I know she's gonna say, I never asked you to wait or don't wait but the thing is I would feel like I missed out on something really important in my life if I was to just give up. So I don't know what to do.

I took Token to the pool hall and considered just stopping by her house but I figured that would be awkward and weird so I just stopped at the gas station and bought a $2.00 bottle of water because that makes about as much sense as anything else I'm doing lately.