Tick Tick Tick

For a couple years I have been really thinking I wanted a baby, but then I'm like, I can barely handle the two cats I have. The feel has come and gone. I'm quite logical about it, knowing that being a female I'm biologically wired to have the urge to procreate. Regardless of my sexuality, my choice of guys clothes over girls clothes, the fact I feel more comfortable playing video games than shopping (unless it's for a new gadget or electronic) despite all that I'm still cursed with really girlie feelings when it comes to babies. I'm the proudest aunt you'll find, I carry multiple pics of my sisters kids around in my duct tape wallet. I brag about every new little thing my newest niece does, from her first steps a couple weeks ago to her first birthday party next month. Sometimes when I'm babysitting her I wonder about what it would be like to have my own little one, it seems kinda cool. Then she starts crying or has a really rank diaper and I'm so glad I can give her back to my sleep deprieved sister and go about my merry way. I'm sure it would be different if it was my own child but the thing is I don't want to be pregnant. Just the thought freaks me out. It would just be so much easier if I could buy a baby on Ebay. Wouldn't that be cool?

I know some people out there are gonna think this is a horrble idea, that babies shouldn't be sold and all that. Some would argue that there is too much of a chance for women to be used as baby mills, like puppy mills but really aren't sperm banks, egg donation and the like just legal forms of babies mills? To be sure there are many flaws to my plan but I don't think I'm really serious, much. Or maybe instead of just sending less than it costs for a cup of coffee a day to "adopt" some 3rd world child who is forced to work at the age of 6 in brutal conditions, you could really adopt that child directly and they show up on your doorstep like a mail order bride. Russia is big on the mail order brides and also "overseas adoptions" which I guess, come to think of it, is like a mail order baby, except you need to go there to pick the little tyke up to show you're really serious. Oh and grease a lot of political Russian palms.

But really, I have no clue what I'm talking about. I've been thinking about getting a dog for a coupel months. I've been doing research on the perfect type to fit my life style, if I should get a puppy or an older one, which rescue or pound to get it from. I have to be sure i get the right one because it's theoretically gonna be around for at least 10 years. Babies grow up to become kids that become teenagers that become overgrown children who stick around for at least 20 years these days. And what would I do with a baby while I'm at work? I think it's frowned upon leaving them in a crate all day until they're potty trained, or can at least change their own diaper. So unless I get with a really amazing woman who is willing to pop out a baby for us to love and care for together or better yet already has one housebroken, I'm pretty sure I'm doomed to a life of cats. Damn this biological clock telling me different.