Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Dawn of Something

A couple weeks ago my company sent me to a training on how to use a planner. I even got a really nice Franklin Covey day planner out of it. I used it to schedule no more than 65% of my day (like the training taught me) and every night I would write out my goals for the next day, my appointments, my to do list. Funny thing, it didn't work because I never actually looked at it during the day. That kind of sums me up perfectly, just because I have the tools doesn't mean I'm gonna actually use them. Just having a number in my phone doesn't mean I'm gonna call it. Meaning, I'm pretty bad at follow through, which is nothing new but I realize that I have been living in this self denial about the depth of my shortcomings. Luckily I have people all to ready to point them out to me.

Basically I've been trying to follow through better, starting with the little day planner I have and this goal setting thing I have to do once a month for work. My company is very big on personal improvement and employee training. I'm really lucky to be working for a company that spends money on employees to learn how to use a day planner in this day and age of downsizing and budget cuts. If they are willing to put the money into me the least I can do is follow through on it.

I've taken a step back from a lot of people and things to concentrate on myself. I can't look for happiness outside of myself anymore because thats not true happiness I'm finding. It's only the temporary, dull the boredom kind. Only until I can learn to be comfortable being myself and with myself will I be able to be a good friend to others. I just need to take a step back and re evaluate my priorities. It's time to stop talking about it and just actually do it.

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